There. I said it. I am the first person to admit I have zero confidence in myself sometimes. Don’t get me wrong. I know I obsess over too many details (which usually makes me a great person to file documents), but if I think I’m not too good at something, forget it.
Not being good at something, to me, means I’m terrible at it. And my brain goes in overload and at the end of my rant I’m already giving up on doing whatever that is.
Yesterday was one of these days where I had an inside panic attack while trying to accomplish one simple task: drive through the Capital Beltway (I-495) to go to a friend’s house. I had done the same path before, with the hubs. But it was at 10pm at night, traffic was a lot easier.
Well, I made it. I gripped my steering wheel like my life depended on it, but made it. I made it! Wow! Pat myself in the back, I did. I needed it. Boy, did I need it. I needed to know I could do it. And I did. I know, it’s just driving Andrea, what’s the big deal. What’s the big deal? Ask anyone! I hate driving. It’s nothing more than means for me to get somewhere. I get paralyzed if I drive on big intersections. But I made it!
And the afternoon was great! We had lunch at the Greene Turtle, and she did me a huge favor, so, basically, she’s amazing. :) And we chatted like we had not seen each other in months, but really, she came over to watch the game on Sunday.
On the way back I get this message: “Babe, did you leave yet? It’s supposed to storm.”
And there. The panic, so I left. And guess who followed me? The storm. On 495. Guess it was a crash course for me, huh? I was back to gripping the wheel and singing songs to distract me from the downpour and from the fact that I could barely make out the cars around me.
But hey. I made it home. Which means another success. And another pat on my back and a little puffed chest. I made it. By myself. I did it – despite all I thought I couldn’t do. That just goes to show me: I can do so much more than I thought I was capable of.
I don’t care if people laugh because, at the end, this post is about me conquering my fear of driving. Because it’s big to me. It’s huge to me, actually. I need to be more self-confident. I can do this, people! One step at a time, and I will show the world, and myself, what I’m capable of.