Back in school whenever I’d start a sentence with: “but mom, everybody else..” she’d stop me, and remind me we are not everybody else. What applies to them doesn’t need to apply to us. I used to think she was being unfair. I used to think it was an excuse not to let me do something I wanted to. But my mom knew better. She always did.
She took time to explain what mattered to her and my dad was what we did. The two of us. That life wasn’t about “everybody else”, but about your family. That woman is brilliant, I tell you.
There’s too much good in life to keep looking at what others are doing, what they have and I don’t. I’m learning to focus on what I have, on my life, on my family, on providing them with all I can. On being the best person I can be. On showing integrity, work ethic, and I can only hope that one day it will be enough to inspire those around me to do the same. That it’ll be enough to keep me from comparing myself and my life to others.
It’s still hard though, to look around you and see that people are rewarded regardless of how they act. Seems unfair, don’t you agree? If you can cut corners and still make it, why not? If you get the same prize, whether you work for it or not, why would you work? I don’t know. All I know is how I would behave – how I am behaving.
I know my intentions are the best – and that is enough. I’d rather be home with my conscience clean. I’d rather know I’ve kept my word. That’s the most important of it all. In the end, if you know you tried, that’s what matters most.
Life is too short for all of this. There are too many other exciting, happy, earth shattering laughter filled days, joyful moments to focus on it. But then again, I’m flawed, so I do need to vent, and maybe waste a day of two soaking up in resentment before I let it go.