My mother always used to say that to me. And it is always something that struck close to home when she would.
As I mentioned before I was a very sheltered, and peter pan like child. Besides in school I never pushed myself outside of my comfort zone. I was always scared. Scared of what, you might ask? Everything.
What if I fail? What if people hate me? What if I regret it? What if they think I’m too forward? What if I hurt them? What if I disappoint them? What if?
There was this one day in particular, after yet another fight with my very first boyfriend, that my mom pulled me aside to talk. She had seen it in my eyes. How desperate I was not to fail on that relationship – my fear of being the one to call it off – to be hated. She told me something along the lines of: “you haven’t been yourself in months, my dear. It’s time for the Andrea we know and love to come back. What are you scared of?”
Just like that my world turned around. She was right, that relationship had transformed me into someone I was not. Into this someone I didn’t want to be. I remember the heartache at having to face all my fears – I cried, I prayed, I sobbed into her arms. But she was right, in the end. How much of myself was I wiling to lose because of my fear of confrontation?
Safe to say that relationship didn’t last long. I took that advice and used it in almost all situations that came up. Finding a job, deciding when to step away from friendships, taking the plunge on a long distance relationship, deciding to move to a different country. Every time I did I had to conquer my fear and follow my heart. Thanks mom, for the best advice you could’ve given me.