This weekend was a nerve-wrecking one. This weekend, I faced yet another fear.
This was the weekend in which I drove by myself 3 hours to see my sister. I know, a lot of people may scoff and laugh at me. But I am not the best driver in town. At least I think so. I’m only comfortable with my own known routes. Throw me out of that and I’m a mess.
I made it safely – in one piece. Got lost a couple of times, but the freak out was way bigger than the problem itself. I’m just not good at leaving my routine.
But the meet up was a huge success. I got to feel Miss Ayla kick, see the nursery, get tears in my eyes from looking at all the baby clothes she’s one day going to fit into. It was amazing. I left the next day, after we got some last minute shower details out of the way.
And then.. back home, cuddling with the cat I found this on Pinterest.
I have atelophobia.
It’s so simple, but so life changing.
I hate driving. But i hate even more that I feel I’m not good enough at it. And why? I have so far had a clean record, no tickets, nothing.
Same thing with the baby shower. I feel like people will come in and hate everything I’m doing. I feel like no matter how much I try it will never be enough. It has to be perfect, or I will be crushed.
And I know – it’s all in my head. I know it’s going to be great, but if one person even comments on it, my day will be over.
And with that spirit, I decided to make it into my 2015 list of things to remember.
1. You are enough.
As long as I know i’ve tried my best, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. As long as I know I give it all that I could, and more, I won’t feel like it’s imperfect.
So bring it on, Maryland, with your 495s and your 3 hour drives. I conquered you once, and I’ll keep doing it over and over. Because I won’t let anything come in between that adorable baby and myself. And you can count your miles on it.