This grateful heart Monday will come a bit different than most.
Today, I feel as if I need to dedicate this to the one my heart is most grateful for: my husband.
Brian had to step out and do a test for the advancement of his career. I brought him breakfast and let him to his devices so he could study and prepare in peace.
While that was happening I was busying myself with cleaning up the house.
It dawned on me that I’m not always gracious with my thoughts. Even when they concern my husband.
As I was picking up after him (and myself too!) I just kept thinking of how I wish he would do this, or put this away, or do things my way.
This morning I had to stop. Stop and think: is this how I want my marriage to be?
Is this the kind of wife he deserves? Someone who will complain and nag, and try to change him? Wish him different, somehow? Belittle him, even in her thoughts?
I took a moment to breathe in, and out.
“He’s got a big test to focus on.” I reminded myself. “Let him be.”
It appalled me how ungracious and wrong I felt then.
I quietly muttered an apology, and started putting things away. With a calmer soul. A clearer head.
I have my moments too. Where I forget the big things and focus on the negative.
I need, and want, to me more gracious. Not only in general, but specially to my husband.
The same one who hugs me tight when I need.
Who goes to church with me, who prays, and adores with me.
Who knows my favorite tastes.
Who is bettering himself for our sake, and our marriage.
Who has come so far already in terms of household chores.
I appreciate you. I appreciate all you do.
Sometimes it’s just easy to forget. But I want to direct my annoyance at something else. I want to make sure my thoughts, and actions are one and the same. We are a partnership. It’s how God intended marriages to be.
Your strength is in the planning aspects, the 5 year plans, the goals.
My strength is in the now. In making this house a home, in figuring out dinner, in remembering people’s gifts.
We work better together than separate. That is for sure. And I will try to hold myself back before I nag. Try to show you I truly, deeply, lovingly appreciate you and all you’ve done for us.
I’m grateful for you. Today, always. Partners for life, right?