each lovely thing

sharing the joys of life in each lovely thing

being gracious to your husband


This grateful heart Monday will come a bit different than most.

Today, I feel as if I need to dedicate this to the one my heart is most grateful for: my husband.

Brian had to step out and do a test for the advancement of his career. I brought him breakfast and let him to his devices so he could study and prepare in peace.


While that was happening I was busying myself with cleaning up the house.

It dawned on me that I’m not always gracious with my thoughts. Even when they concern my husband.

As I was picking up after him (and myself too!) I just kept thinking of how I wish he would do this, or put this away, or do things my way.


This morning I had to stop. Stop and think: is this how I want my marriage to be?

Is this the kind of wife he deserves? Someone who will complain and nag, and try to change him? Wish him different, somehow? Belittle him, even in her thoughts?





I took a moment to breathe in, and out.

“He’s got a big test to focus on.” I reminded myself. “Let him be.”

It appalled me how ungracious and wrong I felt then.

I quietly muttered an apology, and started putting things away. With a calmer soul. A clearer head.


I have my moments too. Where I forget the big things and focus on the negative.

I need, and want, to me more gracious. Not only in general, but specially to my husband.

The same one who hugs me tight when I need.

Who goes to church with me, who prays, and adores with me.

Who knows my favorite tastes.

Who is bettering himself for our sake, and our marriage.

Who has come so far already in terms of household chores.


I appreciate you. I appreciate all you do.


Sometimes it’s just easy to forget. But I want to direct my annoyance at something else. I want to make sure my thoughts, and actions are one and the same. We are a partnership. It’s how God intended marriages to be.

Your strength is in the planning aspects, the 5 year plans, the goals.

My strength is in the now. In making this house a home, in figuring out dinner, in remembering people’s gifts.


We work better together than separate. That is for sure. And I will try to hold myself back before I nag. Try to show you I truly, deeply, lovingly appreciate you and all you’ve done for us.

I’m grateful for you. Today, always. Partners for life, right?


Grateful Heart w/ Ember Grey/>

Author: Andrea T

Happily married to the sweetest guy, mother to a furry kitten, lover of all things shiny and sparkly. Quirky, girly and passionate about illustration and design.

30 thoughts on “being gracious to your husband

  1. Hi Andrea!
    So happy to be your linky neighbor at Ember’s Grateful Heart link up…

    I love this: “We work better together than separate”

    Great post!!! Its a wonderful reminder for us all… no matter how long we are married! Being gracious to our husbands is something that I am sure we all need to work toward!

    Blessings to you :)


    • Thanks Danise! It was great visiting your blog and getting to know a bit about you! I haven’t been married long, but I do know that I want to navigate this with as much grace as possible. :) Many blessings!


  2. such a good reminder!! I too find myself getting annoyed sometimes if my husband doesn’t do the dishes or doesn’t do that and then I realize “I could just as easily do these things that I am getting bugged about!” thanks for the inspiration :)\
    xo, Candace | Lovely Little Rants


    • I know! I think it’s the fact that most times it is me doing this that triggers the annoyance. but it’s true.. I can just as easily do things. and I usually do. :) thanks for reading and commenting!


  3. My goal is be more gracious to my husband too! I prayerfully work on Ephesians 5 23-33 often! My goal is to respect him WELL and to do that, I must give grace. Just followed you on Twitter. Happy to connect via Ember Grey. Blessings! :)


    • Many blessings to you too. Ephesians is definitely one to hold me accountable for. I have to read over and over to really understand what it all means. To be one and the same. The perfect unit. To respect so you can be respected. :) lovely comment, thanks for stopping by!


  4. such good insight! it’s so easy to nag the ones we love the most, but it really can be so harmful. it’s just as easy to say nice things and can equally make a huge difference.


    • that’s true. I do realize sometimes I nag because I know how much better he can be. All his untapped potential. But then again, I have lots of it too, and I don’t always like to hear about it.. haha There is definitely a nicer way of saying things and that’s exactly what I’m aiming for. :)


  5. Great post! Beautifully said, and I think everyone can relate. It’s impossible to keep positive ALL the time, but the important thing is to be mindful when we aren’t!


    • Too true Carissa! It’s so easy to give in to the moment and get annoyed.. I’m trying to apply this everywhere too: workplace, family. Nothing like taking a deep breath and trying to at least say it differently instead of exploding..


  6. Great post, beautifully written!


  7. Beautiful written. I always get annoyed when the hubby doesn’t do something than I realize I could easily do it too but it’s hard to put your ego aside and just allow them to be them too. I am going to try to make a better effort with it.


  8. Oh my you are the CUTEST, just happened to stumble upon your blog and really enjoyed it! I couldnt agree more, sometimes its just the natural man inside of us that thinks because we do this for them they should do that for us. When really we should just do kind things out of love and take care of them home so when are husbands get home from work or done studying they have a nice organized haven to relax in with their loved ones. Great message thanks for the reminder!


    • thanks jenessa! :) that was so sweet. That is so true, also! We always think “but I do this, and this, and this for you why can’t do you this!”. In reality, people do a lot more than what we realize. It’s such a pity we can’t appreciate all that they do, but can point out everything they don’t..

      Liked by 1 person

  9. What a beautiful post, Andrea! It’s so easy in marriage to think about all the things our husbands aren’t doing instead of what they ARE doing. But regardless of what happens, I definitely think every day should be covered in grace! Grace is so important to a long-lasting marriage.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I share this sentiment for my husband AND my children (with respect to the household chores). I get so overwhelmed and ask for help and now they are starting to. I don’t expect it perfect, I just want it done. When it gets too much I purge things so that there is no excuse.

    You will have a long happy marriage with a positive attitude (most of the time).

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m sure I will. I tell my mother with each passing day I understand her more. How nagging I thought she was, but in hindsight she just wanted our help. She wanted to feel appreciated as well. It makes me love her so much more. But it also gives me insight as to why I expect so much. I have a feeling it’ll be the same when we do expand the family. I will definitely hope for some help in household chores.


  11. What a lovely post. This should apply not only to husbands but all of our loved ones. It’s often the people we are closest to that we take our aggression out on. Happy to find you through the blog hop!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This is a great reminder to love on our husbands and to treat everyone with a gracious heart!


  13. This is really sweet. I often do the same thing, and I am working on having a better heart. We all have our strengths, and it’s important to not take sides or keep score. Thanks for the reminder :)


  14. This is a beautiful post and one I needed to read this morning as I have been as gracious as I should be over the last 24 hours to my own husband. I’m so glad we’ve found each other through the link-up! Love your blog and words!


    • thank you so much! It’s not easy to be gracious all the time, that is for sure. I’m trying to, in all aspects: traffic, grocery isle, family. It’s easy to give up and get frustrated, but I know it’s how I want to live life :)


  15. Love this, Andrea! I have been married 10 years, and oh what a great reminder. So often I find myself searching for, needing, and giving grace…but more often than not, that grace is hardest to give to my spouse. Thank you for sharing what is on your heart and encouraging us all!


  16. oh how I needed this today. Thankful for your reminder. convicted heart.


  17. Pingback: Friday Loves - How to Make a Life

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