This weekend I was happy to be surrounded by my dearest people.
From barbecues with the brother in law and his girlfriend, to cooking new recipes, dinner with the family, board games with everyone.. this weekend reopened my eyes to just how important it is to have quality time with the family.
As soon as we realized it was a good enough weather, the kiddos wanted me to jump in the pool. And I was very excited since I had gotten a new one piece for the rest of the summer. But my focus was somewhere else. Automatically sirens went off. My mind screamed: you’re fat, your legs are ugly, they will look, and talk.
I almost left it at home.
Then I remembered a passage I read from Savour.
God made us all beautiful. God made us all perfect, to His image.
Why would I break a sweat over how I look? As I see I have 2 options: I either change my habits, or accept and feel comfortable in this body of mine.
Is it worth denying myself family time with the kids because I don’t love how I look? Is it worth missing out on so much?
No. Nothing is worth it.
Which is why I put that bathing suit on. Just in case.
They asked, begged, for the rain to stop. For us to go and have fun. Our first pool of the season – is what they were hoping for. I heard tales of what they could do now. Of how my nephew can finally reach the bottom of the pool!
Oh, the tales. They were so happy. So excited to show their Aunt Andrea all their moves. And little did they know that their aunt was too busy thinking of how she would look, instead of how much fun she would have.
Of how little of herself she thinks, but of how much she wants them to love their own bodies. Of every little imperfection she sees on herself, but of how glorious she thinks of others and their bodies. It is wrong.
It brings nothing but sadness, anger and despair to me. And it adds no joy to anyone’s life. This is not how I want to live my life. I want to smile, be carefree, enjoy my life. Focus on who I am instead of how I look. On how I live my life meaningfully. On how my actions will impact others, and not just myself.
From then on, I decided I would focus on how I treat my body, instead oh how it looks.
So when the rain stopped, and the sun shone bright in the sky, I jumped in the pool with the kids. And amidst all the laughter and the joy, the last thing on my mind was how my body looked. All I could think of was how happy we were.