a heart that beats outside

May 5, 2015 by Andrea T 20 Comments

The phone rang at 5am. I jumped. When I saw the number, I knew. She was coming.

Covers were thrown, a bag was packed, the gps was set. They said you wouldn’t be here for at least a week, so we weren’t ready. Is there ever a ready?

I ran, I packed, I changed. But all the while, there was one constant thing I was doing.

I was crying.

That hiccuping, runny nose, silly smile cry that you can’t explain. I cried when I was on the phone with your grandma, I cried when I was on the phone with your mom and dad, and specially when I talked to your granddad. He so wishes he was here with you.

As I was trying to find the hospital’s address I get the call.

You’re here.

My heart stops, the tears come back with a renewed force. I get the phone and called your grandfather. He cries. I cry.

I run upstairs and wake up your uncle, because I can’t stop smiling, or crying. I hug him, he hugs me back.

I say a quick prayer. I call work and say I have to go.

I’m not a mother yet. But today, my heart beats outside of my body. Today, I thank God for bringing you to us healthy and with all your 10 fingers and toes.

My heart is yours too, little one. 

* Random thoughts on May 2nd while I got ready to head down to the hospital to welcome my beautiful niece to this world. There’s no happiness like this one.